As the days count down, I can’t help but be hopeful.
I look at this place. I want to see joy and nostalgia. I want to see all the smiling faces in those photos. But I’m clouded by pain, and judgement, and misunderstanding.
I don’t want it to be like this. I want to look back without regret and mourning, but now the only thing I have is to look forward.
So many unknowns lie ahead and yet I’m not afraid. For the first time in my life, I feel peace in the place in my heart that previously held rocks. Tumbling and turning, tearing their place til it was scarred. Those scars are beginning to fade. To heal. Til all that remains is stillness. Hope. Maybe that’s hope.
Despite the cliché, I look forward to it with all my scarred heart. Because it is the only light at the end of my tunnel. My way out. My new beginning. The healing for my scars.